This is the kind of national holiday I can get behind.

Some suggestions for what you can do to observe National Graeme Day:

(BTW, just because you may not know who Graeme Smith is, it doesn't mean you can;t make an effort; This is an inclusive celebration)

1) Hit things really far
2) Get angry at administrators and have to be restrained by a colleague
3) Clean a cricket bat with nail varnish whilst half naked
4) Encourage your pretty young work colleagues to text you when they miss you
5) Injure both your arms and still insist on doing something that requires the use of both arms.
6) Eat a taco really quickly before anyone else notices
7) Be much larger in real life than people expect
8) Tell the truth even when it pisses off important people
9) Be svelte
10) get a huge crowd of Australians to cheer at you
11) Be statuesque
12) Covet other people's chips
13) Complete the to do list you have pinned to your fridge
14) Look suprisngly good in pink
15) Cheat on your fitness test
16) Have captainly hair
17) Point at people until they move
18) Be much better and significantly less whiny than KP
19) Covet shiny things
20) Try to touch your nose with your tongue when you're bored

If you're wanting to celebrate the day from a different angle, (or you've done all the above things by lunchtime and want to challenge yourself) you could also choose from the following options:

A) Celebrate National Ashwell Prince Day by being really, really annoyed about things
B) Celebrate National AB Day by videoing everything, even when the people you're filming are getting a bit annoyed
C) Celebrate National Dale Day by catching a small, naive crocodile
D) Celebrate National Paul Harris Day by being good natured whilst everyone tells you you're not terribly good at what you do, despite the fact that you are.
E) Celebrate National Morne Morkel Day by walking in the wrong direction
F) Celebrate National Makhaya Day by yelling and whooping all day
G) Celebrate National JP Day by being incredibly cool
H) Celebrate National Albie Morkel Day by being a lot shorter than your brother
I) Celebrate National Neil McKenzie Day by turning a light switch on and off
J) Celebrate National Hashim Amla Day by growing an excellent beard
K)Celebrate National Wayne Parnell Day by being much more attractive than a nineteen year old has any right to be
L) Celebrate National Roelof Van De Merve Day by letting people call you Rudolph
K) Celebrate National Mark Boucher Day by picking a fight with a phone box
Twenty20 South Africa v India, Trent Bridge in which I saw Graeme runs, Herschelle drank juice and South Africans were awesome yet again )

On another note: If you're going to turn up at a cricket match with 8 overs left, quite drunk and then attempt to chat me up, asking a stupid question ("so what brings you here?") and touching my leg repeatedly until I kick you in the ankle is not the way to do it.
Thank God for Graeme Smith not being Stuart Broad.
Okay, continuing the series "People being exactly like they are in my head" and the sub-series "South Africans are the most fantastic cricket team ever", you should all go HERE and watch every single one of the videos.

There's a waterslide and Graeme, and Graeme all wet on a waterslide.

And, just in case you needed any more reasons, there's JP jumping in a giant paddling pool.

ETA: It gets better! Dale! Lions!
So, it turns out that the reason my cricket kharma has been so bad so far this season is so that my three days of South Africans could be stupendous.

Things I have learned about South Africans )

We saw cricket, Graeme practised batting right in front of us, and there was a lot of slightly very inappropriate touching on the balcony. In short, everything you could have wanted from South Africans.

March 2014

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