There's been a lot of talk about how the smaller teams shouldn't be playing the world cup. I have an alternative suggestion: I think we should stop Australia playing in all competitions.

They're always dull and predictable, they make me angry and they get Graeme Smith out (which only Matthew Hoggard should be allowed to do, the rest of the time Graeme should be allowed to do that thing where he stands still, whacks the ball to all parts and turns batting into a form a pornography).

Tournaments would be a whole lot more interesting and enjoyable without Australians.
Okay, you're all idiots and I totally disapprove of you having fun and pissing about like teenagers when you haven't actually got anything to celebrate, but can I just say one thing?

If you are going to piss about, get horrendously drunk, and have your photographs taken with your tongues down each other's throats , can you please make sure it doesn't involve John Lewis? I have plenty of suggested pairings should you need some more guidance. Thank you.
I had a long rant about Flintoff's idiocy, but the Bob Woolmer thing overshadows it. However, I would like to thank Flintoff for proving me right about absolutely everything.


Mar. 17th, 2007 11:11 pm
Wow, that was excellent. Thank you Ireland and Bangladesh for providing more thrilling and talented cricket than England have done for the last 4 months.

Although, this could be the end of Inzy. Cricket without Inzy is a less shiny place and for that I am sad. They should let Inzy play for someone else.

Fred fell off a pedalo? There is really only one way the game is going to tomorrow...
When you ruined my christmas, I was sensible and considerate and I took a little break and stopped yelling obscenities at you. I left you alone and gave you the time and space you obviously needed. Then you started winning during the matches I didn't watch, and I was grudgingly impressed from a distance.

Now, when I've steeled myself to watch again, dusted off my cricket patriotism and started to get excited, you're going to throw away wickets against New Zealand are you? That's really how it's going to be?

I have one slightly nervous, stressed out cat currently hiding under the spare bed. He looks permanently harangued and is afraid of loud noises. I named him Strauss.

World Cup! I'm actually quite excited! I might be refinding my cricket thing... (Yes, yes I know it shouldn't have taken me this long to get over the Ashes...) Sri Lankans! South Africans! Giant Dutch cricketers!

March 2014

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