[personal profile] lemonbella
[livejournal.com profile] indian_skimmer

1) You get to keep two albums, we're burning the rest. Which ones are they?
Definitely Maybe (Oasis) and Ben Folds Five (Ben Folds Five). I’ve got Choke (Beautiful South) and Telling Stories (The Charlatans) in a secret fireproof box that I will rescue once you’ve completed this bizarre ritual. Also, it’s quite a big box so I’ll squeeze everything Thea Gilmore’s done, and a couple of Beatles albums in there too.

2) If you could remove Kallis from cricketing history, including the batting, the bowling and "The bowlers have done their job, I think they're ten runs short", would you do it?
Yes, yes I would. Maybe then I’d be able to work out what it is he’s done to upset me.

3) Describe your absolute worst day/evening out and who it would be spent with. Real or imaginary.
The morning would be spent with a bunch of public school wankers (this is a certain type of person that has a particular meaning in my head. It’s hard to describe, but I know them *on sight*) who think I am interested in their poorly formed opinions and tell me them constantly but I’m not allowed to say anything in return.

I’d then move on to spend the afternoon with a bunch of women and their babies, who insist on making me hold said babies and constantly tell me that I must want one and that it’s the most profound thing that could ever happen and I couldn’t possibly understand as I haven’t got one and its made them a wonderful, selfless human being. (I’m not allowed to reply to this either, especially not to point out that the fact that they’ve spent the entire afternoon focused on themselves and *something that’s important to them* makes them the exact opposite of a selfless human being).

I would then move on to spend an horrific evening in a grotty nightclub that only plays music you hear on radio one with a group of drunk girls (whose entire reason for the evening is to make men like them and thus spend a lot of time giggling and swooshing their hair) and men (whose entire reason for the evening is to be impressed by women swooshing their hair and having no opinions, whilst simultaneously telling me that they don’t understand why their girlfriends are always dull and bitchy).

It’s possible I have issues.

4) Sangakarra/Jayawardene. Pick one.
Well, that’s just…. Sangakarra.

5) Your ideal zoo contains lemurs and one other animal, what is it?
Penguins

6) Describe the best cup of coffee you've ever had, or that you can imagine. If it needs to be drunk in a certain place/time you can include that too.
Butter Pecan Latte, walking through Stanley Park, Vancouver. I got to do the two things, but not together. I’m sad about that. The first toffee nut latte of the year I always special too.

7) If someone gave you £5,000 what would you do with it? You can split it as many ways as you like.
An expedition, possibly back to Canada for that latte. The rest would be PhD money.

March 2014

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