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lemonbellaSo, I have a long weekend off from work. (The annual 'you have to take all your holiday before April' rush). I was planing to spend it working on fic, because I have a hundred ideas and little snippets written down.
However
~~~
Carson's the one who has to tell them all, and he does it in clipped tones, with sympathetic eyes. He pats John's shoulder and hugs Elizabeth and sits Radek down with a glass of water. When they've all gone, he spends the next forty five minutes trying to wash the memory of blood from his hands.
He passes on all of his surgical duties to Mandelsson, and tells Elizabeth it’s a necessary part of well overdue restructuring of the medical staff. Over the next few weeks she continues to disagree, until she sees his hands shake when he's carrying out a routine examination on Major Lorne. Elizabeth puts in her own suggestions for restructuring the next day and Carson is asked to focus on his Wraith retrovirus research. Elizabeth tells Caldwell that it's temporary. Carson tells Heightmeyer that it's not.
He dumps Laura three weeks to the day, and when she asks him why, he can't explain that it's because she once spoke with Rodney's voice.
Four months later, Carson has left the Atlantis programme for good, continuing to research the gene therapy applications for the SGC. Two weeks after his return, he tracks down Jeannie McKay and meets her in a coffee shop in central Vancouver.
They talk for an hour, skirting around the subject, frustrated by secrecy and Jeannie's stubborn insistence that she's not as stupid as the military appear to think she is. She'd been told of the importance of Rodney's work when they delivered the notification of his death, but Carson can see that Rodney wasn't the only McKay blessed with insatiable curiosity.
Carson tells her Rodney died saving a bunch of kids, and he makes it sound as good and brave and believable as he can. He's not sure if Jeannie does believe it, but he can see she knows that Rodney was more than just her little brother.
If he was able, he'd have told her the real story, infinitely braver and more telling of Rodney's character than the fabrication. He'd have told her about every mission and every near death experience, every time Rodney enabled all of them to cheat death. He'd have told her that the last time was just time catching up with them all, fate taking what was long owed. But to tell her that, he'd have to tell her of the blood and the screaming and the promises and reassurances he'd made to a dying friend that, when it came down to it, his surgical skills couldn’t match.
~~~
In the immediate aftermath, Ronon doesn't know how to react. He isn’t allowed to go back and avenge the death; and that would've been the only useful response. He doesn't understand why Dr Weir makes them stand down from off world missions, and keeps telling them they need time to mourn. Ronon doesn't succeed in biting his tongue about the weakness and futility of it all.
It's Dr Weir who finds him in the mess late at night staring at the glasses of blue jello. She sits with him in silence for a long time and then shares four servings. He's eternally grateful that she doesn't ever make him admit that she was right.
In the decades to come, Ronon stays on in Atlantis, long after most of the initial personnel have returned to Earth, even though his reactions have slowed and the urge to stop running is a constant presence. McKay's name is on the list of all those he has lost and he recites it from memory whenever he feels weariness and age take precedence over his anger.
~~~
John takes a 'jumper out as soon as they leave the infirmary, and tells the control room he's going to the mainland. He hovers out over the ocean and rests his hands on the controls, letting his mind wander anywhere but the present. The 'jumper submerges itself on an unconscious command and he's 1000 feet under before he hears Elizabeth's voice over the radio telling him McKay's not down there.
Over the next few weeks, the only thing John lets himself think about is how he and Rodney never got to finish their argument. John had been providing counterpoint to Rodney's insistence that military solutions throughout history were all variations of point and shoot, when someone had pointed and shot. John stops dead in the middle of inventory when he realises that Rodney died proving himself right.
Their first mission back, a blonde official from some royal court tries to seduce him and it isn’t until after the de-briefing, when he's showering in his quarters, that John realises it's Rodney's voice he's been hearing in his head all afternoon. The next day, he signs the official mission report Captain Kirk, because it seems like the right thing to do.
Eighteen months later, John flies a puddle-jumper into the middle of three hive ships and detonates his payload. He doesn't say goodbye to anyone, but his last thought is how utterly pissed Rodney would be that their defences haven't progressed at all.
~~~
After three hours sat alone in the dark of his lab, Zelenka stands up, opens his laptop and sends a rude e-mail to Kavanagh for no apparent reason. He works for forty eight hours straight, raiding Dr Vogel's pastry stash to avoid leaving the lab. He agrees to go and get some sleep after Miko politely reminds him that even Rodney left for food.
Radek's handed de facto control of the science department after the memorial service, and he spends the next few weeks explaining to Elizabeth that it wasn't just Rodney's expertise which ran the department, but his presence, and that isn’t something he ever claimed to rival. In the end she gets angry with him and says that maybe life will be easier for the scientists now Rodney isn't around. He comforts her when she cries and tells her that Rodney would've been the first to admit that.
It takes fifteen years for the Atlantis programme to be declassified, and when it is, Zelenka publishes a backlog of research. Some of it is authored solely by him, some with colleagues from the Atlantis expedition, but the one that gets all the attention is co-authored with Rodney. The only change Radek makes to the manuscript is to put his own name first, because even twenty two years later, he still refuses to lose that argument. When the research earns the Nobel Prize, he doesn't write an acceptance speech, because Rodney would have wanted to do all the talking.
~~~
remains unfinished and I can't work with stories half done. It was originally planned for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
sga_flashfic Left Behind challenge, but it felt too same-y to me. But now I don't know what to do with it - advice gratefully received.
Anyway, because of my stubborn, anally retentive and completeist muse, I have wiled away my time watching Traders. Orginially, I stumbled across it because it contained incredibly geeky DH with a beard, but now I'm totally hooked.
However
~~~
Carson's the one who has to tell them all, and he does it in clipped tones, with sympathetic eyes. He pats John's shoulder and hugs Elizabeth and sits Radek down with a glass of water. When they've all gone, he spends the next forty five minutes trying to wash the memory of blood from his hands.
He passes on all of his surgical duties to Mandelsson, and tells Elizabeth it’s a necessary part of well overdue restructuring of the medical staff. Over the next few weeks she continues to disagree, until she sees his hands shake when he's carrying out a routine examination on Major Lorne. Elizabeth puts in her own suggestions for restructuring the next day and Carson is asked to focus on his Wraith retrovirus research. Elizabeth tells Caldwell that it's temporary. Carson tells Heightmeyer that it's not.
He dumps Laura three weeks to the day, and when she asks him why, he can't explain that it's because she once spoke with Rodney's voice.
Four months later, Carson has left the Atlantis programme for good, continuing to research the gene therapy applications for the SGC. Two weeks after his return, he tracks down Jeannie McKay and meets her in a coffee shop in central Vancouver.
They talk for an hour, skirting around the subject, frustrated by secrecy and Jeannie's stubborn insistence that she's not as stupid as the military appear to think she is. She'd been told of the importance of Rodney's work when they delivered the notification of his death, but Carson can see that Rodney wasn't the only McKay blessed with insatiable curiosity.
Carson tells her Rodney died saving a bunch of kids, and he makes it sound as good and brave and believable as he can. He's not sure if Jeannie does believe it, but he can see she knows that Rodney was more than just her little brother.
If he was able, he'd have told her the real story, infinitely braver and more telling of Rodney's character than the fabrication. He'd have told her about every mission and every near death experience, every time Rodney enabled all of them to cheat death. He'd have told her that the last time was just time catching up with them all, fate taking what was long owed. But to tell her that, he'd have to tell her of the blood and the screaming and the promises and reassurances he'd made to a dying friend that, when it came down to it, his surgical skills couldn’t match.
~~~
In the immediate aftermath, Ronon doesn't know how to react. He isn’t allowed to go back and avenge the death; and that would've been the only useful response. He doesn't understand why Dr Weir makes them stand down from off world missions, and keeps telling them they need time to mourn. Ronon doesn't succeed in biting his tongue about the weakness and futility of it all.
It's Dr Weir who finds him in the mess late at night staring at the glasses of blue jello. She sits with him in silence for a long time and then shares four servings. He's eternally grateful that she doesn't ever make him admit that she was right.
In the decades to come, Ronon stays on in Atlantis, long after most of the initial personnel have returned to Earth, even though his reactions have slowed and the urge to stop running is a constant presence. McKay's name is on the list of all those he has lost and he recites it from memory whenever he feels weariness and age take precedence over his anger.
~~~
John takes a 'jumper out as soon as they leave the infirmary, and tells the control room he's going to the mainland. He hovers out over the ocean and rests his hands on the controls, letting his mind wander anywhere but the present. The 'jumper submerges itself on an unconscious command and he's 1000 feet under before he hears Elizabeth's voice over the radio telling him McKay's not down there.
Over the next few weeks, the only thing John lets himself think about is how he and Rodney never got to finish their argument. John had been providing counterpoint to Rodney's insistence that military solutions throughout history were all variations of point and shoot, when someone had pointed and shot. John stops dead in the middle of inventory when he realises that Rodney died proving himself right.
Their first mission back, a blonde official from some royal court tries to seduce him and it isn’t until after the de-briefing, when he's showering in his quarters, that John realises it's Rodney's voice he's been hearing in his head all afternoon. The next day, he signs the official mission report Captain Kirk, because it seems like the right thing to do.
Eighteen months later, John flies a puddle-jumper into the middle of three hive ships and detonates his payload. He doesn't say goodbye to anyone, but his last thought is how utterly pissed Rodney would be that their defences haven't progressed at all.
~~~
After three hours sat alone in the dark of his lab, Zelenka stands up, opens his laptop and sends a rude e-mail to Kavanagh for no apparent reason. He works for forty eight hours straight, raiding Dr Vogel's pastry stash to avoid leaving the lab. He agrees to go and get some sleep after Miko politely reminds him that even Rodney left for food.
Radek's handed de facto control of the science department after the memorial service, and he spends the next few weeks explaining to Elizabeth that it wasn't just Rodney's expertise which ran the department, but his presence, and that isn’t something he ever claimed to rival. In the end she gets angry with him and says that maybe life will be easier for the scientists now Rodney isn't around. He comforts her when she cries and tells her that Rodney would've been the first to admit that.
It takes fifteen years for the Atlantis programme to be declassified, and when it is, Zelenka publishes a backlog of research. Some of it is authored solely by him, some with colleagues from the Atlantis expedition, but the one that gets all the attention is co-authored with Rodney. The only change Radek makes to the manuscript is to put his own name first, because even twenty two years later, he still refuses to lose that argument. When the research earns the Nobel Prize, he doesn't write an acceptance speech, because Rodney would have wanted to do all the talking.
~~~
remains unfinished and I can't work with stories half done. It was originally planned for the
sga_flashfic Left Behind challenge, but it felt too same-y to me. But now I don't know what to do with it - advice gratefully received. Anyway, because of my stubborn, anally retentive and completeist muse, I have wiled away my time watching Traders. Orginially, I stumbled across it because it contained incredibly geeky DH with a beard, but now I'm totally hooked.
