I could play spin bowling better than that....

[lemonbella]

In which,

England were completely and utterly useless.

Geraint Jones caused me to have a small mental breakdown. (To be fair, that was probably more my fault than his. He has enough to worry about without my fragile mental health.)

Every member of the England team stood around and waited for someone else to do something. In fact, they all stood around and waiting for KP to do something. The main problem being, KP was standing around waiting for *anyone but him* to do something.

Everyone was far too nice to the Sri Lankan tail enders. You pitch the ball up or you aim for their fingers, that's the way it works.

Worryingly, Andrew Flintoff's ankle went again. The same injury that kept him out of the England set up for two years.

Score? We lost, so I really don't care.


Trescothick 4 - Fucking ran himself out in the first innings. Bowled by Murali in the second (I thought he was supposed to be a world renowned player of spin?)

Strauss 7 - Was the only player in the second innings to look like he belonged, but still managed to get out. England would still be stupid to drop him.

Cook 6 - If there was one innings suitable for his type of attritional cricket, it was this one, instead he got out cheaply. Not as bad as some of the others though. However, if someone has to go for Vaughan (and we need him more than ever) it should be Cook.

Kevin Pietersen 7 - You can't expect the guy to win every match. His game means sometimes he's going to get out cheaply, and it's usually not a problem when everyone else is bothering to look at the ball. Very good in the field, and made us all laugh with his histrionic thigh strain

Paul Collingwood 7 - Would have gone on to get a lot more if he hadn't run out of partners. Brilliant in the field as usual, and we need someone like him inbetween Flintoff and Pietersen, lest I have a heart attack.

Andrew Flintoff 5 - Batted appallngly. So appallingly infact, that I can't help thinking it was just one of those freak things. God, I hope so. Bowling in the first innings was inspired as usual, but then got injured.

Geraint Jones *sigh* For his wicket keeping he gets a 10, no problems whatsoever. For his batting? 6. he doesn't have a lot of options when wickets are falling around him, but God, I wish he'd at least get to 40.

Liam Plunkett 6 - Seriously underbowled, and struggled on a pitch he's never played on before. Batting wasn't too bad in the second innings, but it was all lost by then.

Hoggard 9 - Mainly because he's done a superb photo shoot for one of the magazines, in which he looks stunning. Also, he's kind of nuts and was seen doing a chicken impression. What? It was a really terrible game!

Lewis I have no idea why this guy was picked. To be honest, I still have no idea why he was picked.

Panesar 8 - Bowled superbly, although he's no Murali. His last wicket batting showed everyone else up.



Okay, I probably couldn't play spin bowling better than that, but then I don't get paid to do it for a living.