The Crackpots and These Umpires
Aug. 21st, 2006 05:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lemonbellaI love my cricket for so many reasons, but above all it's probably the fact that it can be so completely and utterly farcical during incredibly momentous ocassions. That and the fact they stop for cake.
Remember last year when we waited an hour and a half for the rules to allow England to actually win the Ashes? This was even more ridonculous.
So Daryl Hair who is either a) incredibly brave or b) racist, called the Pakistanis for cheating, Inzy got the hump (perhaps understandably), Nasser Hussain was unfeasibly excited at having something ground breaking to report on, Ian Bell looked very confused and Kamran Akmal managed to escape the Big Important Team Meeting to read the paper on the balcony.
Finally, finally, there is something to replace the bloody Read/Jones debate in the newspapers. Although, I give it roughly two days before someone writes an article blaming Geraint Jones for the ineffectiveness of the ICC.
Poor, Poor, Andrew Strauss
Let's just consider poor Andrew Strauss shall we? Not only is he third choice captain but he had to captain the most abject display of one day cricket known to man. Then he had to captain a test series with only two functioning bowlers (and who they were varied on an hourly basis), somehow managed to win two, finally got to smile in the post match interview and then got to celebrate a series win by sitting in a room with ICC officials for seven hours while everyone else got drunk in the hotel.
At this rate Flintoff will have to be captain because Strauss will be rocking back and forth in the corner of the dressing room, whimpering and desperately asking to be allowed to return to Middlesex.
Steve's Fake Injury Goes Unnoticed in all the Fuss
Okay, if he turns out to have a serious problem I apologise. Also I will cry, because Steve Harmison rocks.
However, the last time Steve couldn't seem to stop himself bowling at second slip he faked a back strain so that no one would shout at him and then got chased around the boundary by the physio. This time he's quite obviously faking so that no one makes him play the one day series.
It's exactly what I used to do in PE lessons!
Although, granted, that had less to do with my usually fantastic talent going wayward and more to do with a desire to avoid ritual humiliation and torture.
And the Obligatory Discussion of Geraint Jones
County Geraint was good, despite being run out by Matthew bloody Walker - who had previously achieved a great deal of plaudits from me for being so rotund.
Kent, on the other hand, were just terrible.
I'm not entirely sure how Geraint is supposed to get his form back when they keep sending him in at 8 needing 87 runs off 3 balls, and then running him out. If the Kent batsmen were superb I could understand that you can't disrupt other people just to give a guy the opportunity to tour, but they're not. They're all shit. Jones should definitely be going in higher than Bravo and Henderson (who are both sloggers) and most probably higher than Walker and Key. He at least knows how to time an innings.
*despairs* I know he had to be dropped by England because of his form (look! genuine non-fangirl cricket fan statement!), but I'm extremely worried he's not going to get the opportunity to recover it. This is not just about me wanting Geraint back in the team, it's actually about how hard the Australians will be laughing in Brisbane when, at five wickets down with Flintoff at the crease, Chris Read walks out to bat.
There is also the possiblity that I am solely responsible for Geraint Jones' bad cricket karma.
Remember last year when we waited an hour and a half for the rules to allow England to actually win the Ashes? This was even more ridonculous.
So Daryl Hair who is either a) incredibly brave or b) racist, called the Pakistanis for cheating, Inzy got the hump (perhaps understandably), Nasser Hussain was unfeasibly excited at having something ground breaking to report on, Ian Bell looked very confused and Kamran Akmal managed to escape the Big Important Team Meeting to read the paper on the balcony.
Finally, finally, there is something to replace the bloody Read/Jones debate in the newspapers. Although, I give it roughly two days before someone writes an article blaming Geraint Jones for the ineffectiveness of the ICC.
Poor, Poor, Andrew Strauss
Let's just consider poor Andrew Strauss shall we? Not only is he third choice captain but he had to captain the most abject display of one day cricket known to man. Then he had to captain a test series with only two functioning bowlers (and who they were varied on an hourly basis), somehow managed to win two, finally got to smile in the post match interview and then got to celebrate a series win by sitting in a room with ICC officials for seven hours while everyone else got drunk in the hotel.
At this rate Flintoff will have to be captain because Strauss will be rocking back and forth in the corner of the dressing room, whimpering and desperately asking to be allowed to return to Middlesex.
Steve's Fake Injury Goes Unnoticed in all the Fuss
Okay, if he turns out to have a serious problem I apologise. Also I will cry, because Steve Harmison rocks.
However, the last time Steve couldn't seem to stop himself bowling at second slip he faked a back strain so that no one would shout at him and then got chased around the boundary by the physio. This time he's quite obviously faking so that no one makes him play the one day series.
It's exactly what I used to do in PE lessons!
Although, granted, that had less to do with my usually fantastic talent going wayward and more to do with a desire to avoid ritual humiliation and torture.
And the Obligatory Discussion of Geraint Jones
County Geraint was good, despite being run out by Matthew bloody Walker - who had previously achieved a great deal of plaudits from me for being so rotund.
Kent, on the other hand, were just terrible.
I'm not entirely sure how Geraint is supposed to get his form back when they keep sending him in at 8 needing 87 runs off 3 balls, and then running him out. If the Kent batsmen were superb I could understand that you can't disrupt other people just to give a guy the opportunity to tour, but they're not. They're all shit. Jones should definitely be going in higher than Bravo and Henderson (who are both sloggers) and most probably higher than Walker and Key. He at least knows how to time an innings.
*despairs* I know he had to be dropped by England because of his form (look! genuine non-fangirl cricket fan statement!), but I'm extremely worried he's not going to get the opportunity to recover it. This is not just about me wanting Geraint back in the team, it's actually about how hard the Australians will be laughing in Brisbane when, at five wickets down with Flintoff at the crease, Chris Read walks out to bat.
There is also the possiblity that I am solely responsible for Geraint Jones' bad cricket karma.
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Date: 2006-08-21 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2006-08-21 04:55 pm (UTC)Mmmmm, images.
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Date: 2006-08-21 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-21 05:01 pm (UTC)*coughs*
I need a cold shower.
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Date: 2006-08-22 08:21 am (UTC)Of course, may be the plan is to distract the aussie batsman by making them laugh so hard when he misses an easy stumping and deflects the ball into his own face.
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Date: 2006-08-26 01:20 pm (UTC)I used to fake injury and illness to get out of PE too. There is nothing fun or exciting about making people run around in pointless circles, particularly when the rather fat male teacher stands at the starting point and harrasses the students who weren't exactly built for speed. (sorry, I'm obviously still upset about that!)
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Date: 2006-08-26 01:54 pm (UTC)It's that thing PE teachers have when they tell you to 'run faster' as if you weren't already running as fast as your body would take you. They don't seem to understand that some of us were built for sitting down and reading and no amount of shouting is going top change it.