Dull Update
Jun. 17th, 2010 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So I haven't updated for a while.
So, things at work have been tough for a little while now, for lots of different reasons. It was always going to be a tough job, but it's proving more than just challenging. I'm finding it hard to cope. I don't know what it is: whether I'm not up to it, whether I don't get enough support, whether others' incompetence and downright mal-intent are at fault, whether I'm being too hard on myself and expecting too much, whether being motivated by making a difference is hopelessly naive and therefore never going to be satisfied, whether this is a blip, whether there's something physically wrong that's just lowered my resilience. But whatever way it sucks and I'm finding myself having to question alot of the things that are quite fundemental to my motivation and function and, well, *me*.
I need to get back to assigning random scores to cricketers. It's what I'm best at
So, things at work have been tough for a little while now, for lots of different reasons. It was always going to be a tough job, but it's proving more than just challenging. I'm finding it hard to cope. I don't know what it is: whether I'm not up to it, whether I don't get enough support, whether others' incompetence and downright mal-intent are at fault, whether I'm being too hard on myself and expecting too much, whether being motivated by making a difference is hopelessly naive and therefore never going to be satisfied, whether this is a blip, whether there's something physically wrong that's just lowered my resilience. But whatever way it sucks and I'm finding myself having to question alot of the things that are quite fundemental to my motivation and function and, well, *me*.
I need to get back to assigning random scores to cricketers. It's what I'm best at
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Date: 2010-06-17 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-18 05:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-18 12:30 pm (UTC)Is there anyone above you that you'd be able to talk to about this, if just to pin down whether you could get more support and if you're expecting too much of yourself?
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Date: 2010-06-19 09:33 am (UTC)Hope your new job goes well
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Date: 2010-06-19 10:49 am (UTC)Thanks, hopefully I won't be making a similar post to yours in the near future.
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Date: 2010-06-18 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-19 09:34 am (UTC)